i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
