when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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