are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
