It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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