I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
