Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
