We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
