i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
love makes seman taste better
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
