I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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