"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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