we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
They took my balls.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
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