We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
