Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
