i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm like, not good at living.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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