I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
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