lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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