I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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