I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
