I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
