This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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