I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She told me I should be a condom model.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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