I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
This is the high leading the old right now
Boobs speak an international language.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
