I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
