So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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