people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
