The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
