Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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