idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
