i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
