she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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