I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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