Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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