No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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