Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
