Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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