'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
