Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize