every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
