just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
