proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
