What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
