$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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