You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
