just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
