Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
