she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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