Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
she looked like the before picture.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
