why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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