I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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