dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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