i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
