i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
