did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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